


Woman Like Me

by livelovelaw



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Modern AU, Politics, Seemingly evil rey, i want a soft ben solo, positions are switched, rey is boss, rey is on top of the world
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-29
Packaged: 2019-09-25 08:13:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 17,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17117708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/livelovelaw/pseuds/livelovelaw
Summary: Rey Kenobi is beauty. Rey Kenobi is grace. She is power. She is confidence. She is finesse. She is boss. Nothing will stop in her way to get on top of the world. Well, maybe except a threat on her life. Nothing serious and nothing that cannot be handled by her newly hired bodyguard. But what if he has other plans?Inspired by Little Mix’ song: Woman Like Me and the Netflix Series: Bodyguard





	1. Chapter 1

Prologue: Eleventh of November

Aldera Station, Alderaan Metro’s central station, was a hot pot for travellers. People flock in and out to travel all around the country and today is not an exception. The eleventh of November is a day of importance; the country’s independence day, where Alderaan finally gained freedom from the oppression of the Empire, invaders that were eventually destroyed by sheer will of the people and their longing for sovereignty and democracy. 

But that life changing event was almost a century ago. Today, the eleventh of November is nothing more than a nationwide holiday, its only purpose is to give an additional rest day to the working population, not to mention give opportunity to those who miss their families dearly a chance to visit them. 

In that vast expanse of people missing their families, Police Sergeant Kylo Ren is no exception. He said he missed his mother, father and uncle, or so he convinced himself. Truth is, it was the other way around. Being an only child, more often than not, it was his mother who kept pestering her only son to come home and visit. Finally, with all the free time he had and seemingly using all of his bullshit excuses, he finally decided to visit. 

His family reunion did not last long though. Give or take, including his mother’s dinner preparations, it only lasted for just two hours. A minute longer than that and he was sure as hell that he was going to lose his mind. So without further engaging to any other small talk or even giving a chance for his parents to ask the dreaded question “how are you?”, Kylo bolted at the door. 

‘How are you?’ Kylo repeated on his mind as he sat down on his assigned seat. The train had been buzzing with people, an observation he didn’t place much into thought. His mind trailed at the hypothetical question that his parents, with all their lovingness and care were not able to even attempt to ask. And for the time being, when everyone else was busy finding their seats inside the train, Kylo Ren contemplated. 

How is he? He asked himself. Of course, there is only one answer to that dreaded question: He is... 

How is he?

Physically, he is fit as he can be. Everyday he goes to the gym, still doing his daily work out exercises on a regular basis. He still trains, hard. And work? Work is fine too. As a member of the Tatatooine Police Department, he has not been shot in the line of duty nor is he six feet under the ground, so ultimately, the universe has been good to him. 

It’s another story if you ask about other things. He still can’t sleep at night; his insomnia getting worse everyday and when he does get some sleep, he always wakes up; his mind plagued with nightmares and his soul broken and shattered by the piercing sound of gun fire and the wretched screams of the departed. 

But to answer that elusive question once and for all, Kylo Ren is okay. 

He is okay. He has to be. 

Kylo pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. Moments of self-reflection is already exhausting to say the least and the gruelling minutes of waiting for this damn train to leave while analyzing his state of mind was already burning him out. Come the weekday, he would be back to normal — back to his daily routine and back to being swamped at work. 

He casually observed his surroundings soon after to distract himself. Thankfully, there is always something or someone to watch in this busy train. After all, thinking about the answer to a question that never came is a complete waste of his time. 

He took notice of his seat mates, two children — a young boy and girl — cuddled in together underneath a warm blanket. They looked sheepishly tired in their journey. Their mother, who was sitting across Kylo, tucked the children in, before briefly smiling at him. 

Kylo returned the gesture with a sweet smile of his own. While his relationship with his family was problematic, it never changed the fact that maybe, just maybe, one day, he can have a family of his own. 

A stupid thought once again. How in the world can a man who previously served as a sniper for Alderaan’s Special Forces, turned police officer, be able to raise a family?

They say soldiers come home from wars but they bring the war home, and Kylo Ren is no exception. With everything that is currently infesting his mind, he is not sure if he can live normally again; to care for a lover nay, a wife, not to mention be able to raise a non-dysfunctional family. 

He scoffed silently, laughing in his mind on the thoughts that passed him by. War is a tragic thing, so they say. He did not believe it at first, not until he experienced its horrors first hand. The useless murders, no matter how much he tries to shake it off; to justify what he has done; to provide himself with some logical explanation, he couldn’t. He was home, but he never left the war.

Heads of State, politicians and ordinary people glorify those who were courageous enough to fight; to defend freedom, democracy; to fight for what is right. In their eyes, they were heroes willing to sacrifice everything for their country. They were, not heroes, but are willing to sacrifice everything to protect those who cannot protect themselves. It was an easy resolution, his resolve back then was supposed to be unbreakable. Yet, every day that went by in that scorching desert, the explanations, justifications and logic slowly slipped in his fingers. Somehow, he forgot what he was fighting for. And all was left was a mindless machine, ready to take orders to pull the trigger. 

Just like every soldier that left the war, the fighting has cost him his soul, his peace of mind, his conscience — his sanity. And the people who glorified them like heroes don’t know that. They just see the surface of their heroism, blinded by the prestige that came with it. At the end of the day, soldiers come home lost, damaged, scorned and traumatized from all the killing and violence. 

Kylo was lost too, as he was damaged. He knew there was something wrong with him the minute he was discharged. He went to war whole, but came back broken. All too well, he was not the same person as he was before. 

The conflict, it would seem, latched onto him wherever he goes. It was like a powerful drug, seeping through his veins that there were times even, that he was craving for it. Craving for more just to keep himself sane. It was ingrained deep inside his distraught soul that even if he tries to avoid it, he couldn’t. 

He knew because he tried. When he was discharged, he too took time to think of possible alternative career choices. Something, anything, just to be away from all the violence and conflict. He failed, miserably. Withdrawal from all the violence was never an option. He longed for the touch of steel in his hands, the sound of metal clicks when you cock a gun. He can never get away from it, he just have to live with it. So he became cop instead, hoping one day that after saturating himself with all the chaos, he would finally stop craving it or otherwise overdose with it. And he accepted such fate. One way or the other, it would be a good end. 

Kylo sighed heavily before reclining in his seat, wishing to himself that sleep would come and consume him in order to free himself from these thoughts. The three hour train ride back to Imperial City would be gruelling, so it would be best if he could rest. But his gaze landed to the window and the unusual man on the platform. Just outside the train, a young man, not of this country, he assumed — a man whose color is reddish brown as clay— was fully covered in the heaviest coat and a beanie on top of his head, was fidgety. He kept glancing at his surroundings, unsure and careful. 

Kylo knitted his brows, the young man’s uneasiness was unusual; it was as if he was hiding something and was terrified of getting caught. It incited a bothering suspicion for the ex-military, turned police officer. As an ex-sniper, he was well aware of these questionable behaviors.

As a sniper, it was his duty to obliterate dubious individuals before it was even explicit that they were an enemy; just a heightened suspicion or mere doubtful movements — an enemy in disguise, be it a man, woman or child — anyone with a dangerous tendency to attack his fellow soldiers, he has the widest discretion to pull the trigger. 

It was his call. It was a matter of his judgement. It was that in his own volition that made him pull the trigger. 

And what if his judgement was wrong? What if his suspicions were wrong? What if that person he shot was just another nervous civilian? 

‘What if?’  
‘What if?’

Out of his thirty confirmed kills, just how many of those were really the enemy? 

Kylo cringed in his seat, closing his eyes, as he began to breathe deep. He griped his seat’s hand rest in distress, for he remembers. In that scope, his line of sight magnified and accurate, he sees every action and every reaction. He sees every face, every man, woman he shot, he remembers their features very well. He remembers the way their bodies drop before the sound of gunfire pierces his ears; their eyes wide— in shock, then turning empty, before even realizing that they are already dead. He remembers it all and it has been on repeat, every night in his head. 

Kylo’s palms begin to feel cold, sweat already covering his large hands. He breathed deep, once more, trying so hard to relax, to shove those thoughts away in the back of his mind. 

He is home, he convinced himself once again. The war has ended and he is home. 

When Kylo opened his eyes, the suspicious man on the platform was already gone. 

—

The train had been moving for not more than thirty minutes when Kylo felt that same suspicion once again. This time, it came from one of the train’s attendant, a middle aged woman, tightly clutching a walkie talkie while pacing back and forth in carriages. The train was fully air conditioned but the woman in question kept wiping the sweat on her brow with the back of her palm. 

The distress in her face was obvious to Kylo, although she was trying to keep a pleasant face as to not scare the other passengers. Her face began to distort in panic when she finally reached the end of the carriage, observing, with so much unsureness, a man with a similar reddish brown skin as that of the dubious man Kylo saw on the platform. Realizing that he was not the man she was looking for, the woman exhaled a soft exasperated sigh. 

If he was not the only one who was suspicious, then there must be something very wrong, Kylo thought as he finally stood from his seat. Following his intuitions, he began his own search, starting with the train’s comfort rooms. He tugged every single one of them gently, taking notice if any of them were locked. Restrooms on Carriages D and E were the only ones that were occupied. 

Kylo decided to wait in caution, to ambush anyone that was inside when the middle-aged train attendant reached where Kylo was, and without bothering to shove Kylo out of the way, tugged the bathroom door with a slightly greater force. 

“Is there someone there?” The train attendant croaked nervously. 

Before the train attendant can forcefully push the door further, Kylo gripped her arm tightly, which made the woman yelp. 

In that instant, Kylo placed his pointing finger on his lips, signalling the woman to be quiet. “Police Sergeant Kylo Ren,” he said in a whisper, more like silently mouthing his words, before searching for his badge in the back pocket of his jeans to show it to the woman. 

“I’m off-duty.” Kylo continued calmly. “But I assume that your looking for a middle aged man, late twenties or early thirties from Jakku.” He supplied quietly. 

The train attendant gasped, her jaws dropping slightly in surprise. She swallowed hard, eyes gazing with suspicion at Kylo then to the badge that he showed her, judging if he could be trusted. When she was satisfied, the woman made a small exhale, dragging the police officer away from the bathroom door towards one of the empty carriages of the train. “We have received credible reports of a man from Jakku acting suspiciously as he boarded the train. Intelligence suggests that the man might be carrying an e-explosive.” The woman stuttered. 

The police sergeant merely nodded in assent, his feet already moving. “What of the ADP?” He said. 

“The Alderaan Police Department is already on the move, as well as the Special Weapons and Tactics Unit and the Bomb Disposal Unit of the ADP.” She whispered as she followed Kylo. 

“Train security have been placed in all of the exits too. Then the train will be put on emergency stop upon reaching Crevasse station. From there, the ADP shall take over.” 

Kylo glanced back at the woman, his eyebrows tightly knitted together. “There is a possibility that stopping the train would alert them.” He said, biting the insides of his lower lip. “If there is a suicide bomber inside this train, we need to find him before the train stops.”

“S-suicide bomber? It’s not remotely controlled?!” The woman hissed in panic before wiping another bead of sweat that trickled towards the side of her face. 

“Improvised explosives in general are remotely controlled.” Kylo said as he turned to see if the person in the suspected comfort room had already left. Sensing that there was no movement whatsoever, he continued his explanation. “Modes of detonation are different depending on the explosive. But in a moving train like this, detonation would be impossible because of the distance. My guess is the detonator and the bomb is lodged within one and the same person.” 

The woman began to shiver in sheer nervousness. She stared at Kylo with a mixture of a shocked, panicked, and curious eyes. She gaped her mouth open to speak, but nothing came out of it. 

“I will be needing one of those.” Kylo said, not minding at how she was looking at him; at how she was wondering on how a lowly police officer knew of such things. 

“O-oh, of course.” The woman stuttered, regaining her focus. “I’ll be in channel 2.”

Kylo gave her a slight nod. “In the mean time, move all the passengers on carriage D, E, F and G towards the end of the train.” He mumbled while adjusting the channel of his two-way radio. 

The train attendant nodded, already rushing to remove the passengers out of the radius of the possible explosive device. When the coast is clear, Kylo decided to check the restroom on carriage D again. 

He exhaled through his mouth, trying to distract himself from hearing his own frantic heartbeats. 

A suicide bomber from Jakku, he laid the facts in his head. He need not to wonder why, because the purpose was obvious — retaliation. 

Jakku, a small neutral desert country in the planet caught in the middle of one of the most violent wars this modern world had experienced. Alderaan had invaded it, not because they were siding with the enemy, but because Alderaan knew that it was where the last remnants of the once mighty Empire had settled. 

The Empire had lost its military might, and the Alderaan government was hellbent on extinguishing any possible threat of them rising again from the ashes. 

They were, successful. But it did not come without a high cost. A lot of Jakkunians perished in that invasion, unnecessary casualties, that bodies piled up on the streets everyday. 

Nobody cared. The world didn’t. Alderaan didn’t; their marines didn’t. It was the lives of the Jakkunians versus destroying the Empire once and for all. The world just had to pick the lesser evil. And they did. Now they have peace. 

Do they? Is this what peace looks like?

Tightening his fists, Kylo brushed the past away. There are more pressing matters at hand and thinking about what his government — or him per se — has done would not save this train from exploding. He lifted his hand, carefully knocking on the door. 

Once, twice, thrice. No answer. On his fourth attempt, the comfort room door swung open before his knuckle can even touch the off-white plastic door. 

“What the fuck is your problem?” An angry shout greeted him. Kylo blinked once, adjusting his gaze to level the person who just screamed full force right on his face. 

She was of normal height, just levelling his shoulders. By his standards though, she was small and yet her sudden burst of irritation made Kylo take a step back in shock. Obviously compensating at his height, she lifted her chin up, already baring her teeth in fury at the stranger who disturbed her. 

“Are you blind? Didn’t you see that the bathroom was occupied?” She snarled. 

Her protests were nothing more than background noise to Kylo. He stared at woman, already profiling her, his gaze trailing from her head to her toe. She was wearing a blood red suit with a black fitted turtle neck underneath it. She had a small make-up filled face, her lipstick matching her blood red ensemble, her brown hair pulled tightly at the back of her head in a high pony tail. 

Elegant, probably high-class, albeit angry, and not their suspected bomber, Kylo instantly thought. He immediately took his gaze away from the woman before proceeding to the next occupied bathroom. 

“l’m talking to you!” She shouted further as he moved away. 

Kylo kept marching, his strides long and fast, not minding her. An angry woman is the least of his concerns when a suicide bomber is still on the loose. “The bathroom on Carriage D is clear.” He radioed in. 

“Copy that.” The train attendant radioed back. 

“Checking Carriage E now.” Kylo reported. 

“Copy. Please be careful.” The woman warned. 

Kylo didn’t have time to respond for he stopped before the restroom at Carriage E, repeating the process once again. He knocked, once, twice. 

On his third knock, the door opened, carefully; almost cautiously. In a matter of seconds, the man whom Kylo saw on the platform emerged. They locked eyes for a moment, before the man’s lips quivered unsurely into what seemed a nervous half-hearted smile. 

Contrary to what Kylo saw a while ago, the man was no longer wearing an oversized coat. He was in his casual wear, an old checkered shirt and worn out jeans. He kept wiping his palms on his sides, his face still nervous at the sight of the towering police officer who was still staring at him. 

He is the man that Kylo was looking for, but he was not their bomber. There’s no way that he, in his (now) thin clothing, could ever hide a bomb powerful enough to blow this train up. 

There is another one, an accomplice to this wretched crime, Kylo was sure of it. 

Finally, the man with the reddish brown color walked away from Kylo. When his back was towards him, it was Kylo’s cue to radio in. “Bomber is still not in sight, but his accomplice is.” He said in a whisper. 

“Roger that.” The woman on the other side of the radio said in panic. “Making the arrest now.”

Kylo huffed for air as he analyzed the situation at hand. That man wasn’t the bomber, if at all, most suicide bombers need assistance in latching on the explosive. That middle aged man was the one who did it. 

Where in this cramped train can you attach a bomb on someone else, a place where no one can see? There’s no question about it, the real bomber is still in this bathroom, he thought as he bit the insides of his lip. 

“Hey, you asshole. I wasn’t done talking!” A small pressure gripped his shoulders, pulling his shoulder blades back, attempting to turn him towards her. 

He didn’t budge. The woman’s force was strong, but not strong enough to move him. If there was a chance, he would have rolled his eyes in irritation. The woman had been pestering him for the last couple of minutes, and this was not the time nor the place for a stupid argument. 

“Leave.” He whispered a command, his voice low, sharp and alert. If this bombs explodes right here, he and the bomber would be the only casualties. He was ready for death to take him but he cannot take another casualty into the picture, no matter how annoying and infuriating that person can be. 

His order made the woman’s mouth drop in shock, misinterpreting his sense of urgency into something else entirely that her make-up filled face crumpled into an annoyed, haughty look. 

“Oh, I’m not going anywhere until you apologize to me.” She did a stupid hair flip, the collected strands of brown hair in her pony tail whipping in the air. 

Kylo gritted his teeth at her stubbornness. Time is not their friend and he was beginning to contemplate if he would tell her that there is a bomb inside this train and that said explosive is probably not more than two feet away from the both of them. But he held his tongue for the woman was unabashed in showing her emotions. If he tells what’s really going on, he would expect the woman to scream in terror. Her fright would lead the bomber to panic and if the latter panics, he will, for sure, blow this whole god damn train into oblivion. 

Give her what she wants, Kylo thought. 

“Sorry.” He growled. His apology, flat and mechanical. “Now, go.” He commanded once more. 

It was his call to hide the truth from her, praying that she accepts his half-assed apology already. 

A loud scoff came from her red stained lips, and for the love of the Maker, creator of the heaven and earth, and all the gods worshiped in every religion, the stubborn woman cannot let the matter go. 

“What’s with you and comfort rooms?” She made a snide comment. “A fetish?” She said as she marched all the way towards Kylo, immediately shoving him to push the comfort room door. 

“No!” He pulled her back in panic, but what’s done was done. The door creaked open and the woman froze. 

Everything seemed like slow motion after that. Kylo with all the force he could muster, grabbed the woman on the back collar of her red blazer before yanking her away; literally throwing her to the hallways of the train, as far as Kylo’s strength can reach. 

“No, don’t!” He roared once again, the sound of his voice reverberating in a distinct low shout of panic. This time, it was directed towards the person inside the cubicle who was just as frozen in place as the woman he just thrown in the empty hallway like a stray animal. 

“Please, don’t.” Kylo this time, pleaded in a soft whisper. 

— —

Rey Kenobi, in pure instinct and self-preservation, immediately covered her head as soon as her body hit the carpeted floor. She knew what she saw and she gasped for air, waiting for the impact, the shockwave, the flying debris and body parts that would come straight towards her. 

There was none, to her relief. If there was anything, she was hearing the sound of her heart pounding furiously on her chest. She bravely decided to look towards the man who threw her like she was some stray animal. Thank heavens, he was still there, whole and intact, and not yet blown into several pieces. He had his one hand extended inside the cubicle, while the other was tightly clutching the bathroom’s door frames. 

She heard him plead, in a soft whisper, telling the young woman, a teenager, with reddish-brown color skin, wearing a black vest filled with different colored wires which connected to a number of plastic wrapped, off-white, clay-like substance she figured as C-4, not to press the detonator. 

Rey was already on her knees when she realized how pathetic her actions were. There is a suicide bomber inside the train and that tall, muscular man with jet black wavy hair was looking for him — or her. 

Rey gasped, momentarily digesting the information as it reached her brain. There is a suicide bomber inside the train, she thought as her body began to uncontrollably shudder in terror. There is a suicide bomber inside the train and she is going to die. 

Despite her legs feeling like jelly, her survival instincts kicked in. She desperately commanded herself to run — fast — and to never look back. And she did, thankfully, she did. 

The only problem is, she decided to look back. 

— —

“I know you don’t want to do this.” Kylo pleaded once more, not looking at the woman who had blood shot tear stricken eyes, but towards the detonator she was holding with both hands; both her thumbs millimetres away from pressing the circular red trigger. 

The young woman whimpered, taking a cautious step back. “I do. I can do it.” She croaked a non-convincing declaration, lifting up the detonator towards her head before attempting to press further at the trigger. 

“No, please, you don’t!” Ben voiced cracked in panic. He was already sweating furiously, his limbs shaking, yet his sight was never away from the detonator. 

In that moment, his pathetic life flashed before his eyes — everything that he had done and everything he needed to atone. In a split second, he was ready to give up. And yet in a flash quick as lightning, he wasn’t. Kylo remembered the two young children beside him, their mother who gave him the sweetest smile. He remembered the woman he just thrown in the hallway, on how she froze in terror upon the instance of death. They were innocent people, civilians, and here he was, a man given the strength and skill to protect, and yet he folds, giving in his own selfish desires for a quick end. 

He cannot do that. What about those who cannot protect themselves?

“You won’t do it, because you’re not that kind of person.” Kylo said, his resolve now unbroken. He managed to smile sweetly, relaxing himself, dropping his arms to his side. He prayed that his non-threatening stance would convince the young bomber that he wasn’t intimidating her in any way. He tried to sound convincing, trusting his instincts: there is still good in people. They are not inherently evil. 

Kylo shuddered in relief when the woman suddenly stopped as soon as the skin of her thumb grazed the red button. She looked at Kylo with her terrified brown eyes, her lips quivering. She began to sob, ungraciously rubbing her eyes with her free palm. “But it’s too late.” She wailed. 

“You have the power to stop this. You don’t want to kill these people.” He mumbled, raising his hands to the side, showing the woman once and for all that he wasn’t in any way, a threat to her life.

“It’s not yet too late.” A small squeak of a voice broke into the now empty carriage soon after.

Kylo glanced to his side, his back towards the person who whispered like a small rat. The stubborn woman in red clasped her hands together on her chest. She was nervous and frightened, Kylo could see her knees literally shaking in fear. Yet she swallowed hard, exhaling through her mouth before she spoke again. “You may not believe it, but I know what it’s like to feel like you don’t have a choice.” 

“But you always have one.” She continued. “And I believe him,” her eyes gazing up at Kylo that their eyes met. 

Kylo’s gaze lingered on the woman’s big and frightened hazel eyes; his shock still visible in the lenses of his jet black pupils. She wasn’t supposed to be there. He told her to run, but she didn’t. 

This woman in red is a fucking idiot, he thought. Reckless, stubborn, and a fucking idiot. 

“I too, once, when I was about your age, thought that I never had a choice; that what I needed to survive was to follow... even though I know deep down that it was wrong. They were wrong.” She croaked nervously, before wiping a bead of sweat that fell on her red make-up stained cheek. “I- I don’t know you, but I know deep down, you’re a good person. Your h-ands,” She stuttered to continue. “You know for yourself that they are not meant to kill.” 

It took two microsecond blinks and his jaw slightly dropping open before Kylo realized what she was trying to do. She wasn’t an idiot. If at all, she was brave, albeit a little reckless. She trying to help to change the bomber’s mind and Kylo needed all the help he could get. 

“And you believe that too, don’t you?” Kylo finally supplied, his eyes setting a soften gaze at the lady in red before glancing towards the scared teenage suicide bomber. “I know you don’t want to hurt them.” 

“So please, I need you to raise your hands and drop the detonator.”

There was silence after that, then a soft whimper. Finally, the young bomber removed her thumbs from the trigger. “It was Alderaan’s fault!” She cried. “With their modern guns and killing machines —My co-cousin, he said it was for our brothers and sisters who died in Jakku” She cried. 

Kylo bit the edges of his mouth. He was right — they were retaliating, in their own way, at the violence they had given to that small country. He had no words to answer the young woman’s accusations. Surprisingly, the woman in red was awfully silent too. From Kylo’s peripheral vision, she merely kept her head down. 

“We should return everything.” The young bomber continued. “The death, the pain — but you’re right, these people, it’s not their fault — i’m sorry. I’m so sorry. She in horror, disgusted with herself, at what she attempted to do. 

“It’s okay.” Kylo whispered, carefully reaching out for the hand where the young woman held the detonator. “It’s not your fault.” He consoled her once again. 

“Now, I need you to tell me — what’s your name? —“ Kylo hummed gently. 

The young woman graciously gave Kylo the small trigger before answering meekly. “Talia.” 

“Such beautiful name.” Kylo sweetly smiled. “Now Talia, would you know if there are any other trip wires which could trigger the bomb?” He mumbled, his voice soft enough that it sounded like a gentle lullaby. 

The young woman from Jakku gave him an unsure look before shaking her head in the negative. “I don’t know...” She sobbed. “My cousin said I should just push the red button.” 

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” Kylo consoled her. “That was really helpful. You’re doing really great, Talia.” He smiled. 

“APD, hands in the air!” Someone shouted, surprising the three of them. 

Suddenly, two police officers, a man and a woman, in full gear occupied the hallway of the train. They had ballistic shields covering half of their bodies, semi-automatic handguns carefully rested on top of it. 

“Officer, ma’am, we need you to move out of the way.” One of them hissed. 

“No!” Kylo screamed in panic, he moved fast, blocking the young bomber from the sights of the guns. 

The tension in the air was rising again, and everything Kylo and the woman in red had done to reduce the fear in the young teenage bomber disappeared in the quickest second. 

These police officers were scaring this teenage girl. And fear can lead to disastrous things. 

“Stand down!” Kylo growled, his pleas scared and in panic, “She’s going to surrender.” 

But none of the police officers seemed listening. “Officer, I need that woman out of the cubicle. I want to see your hands in the air!” She screamed at the both Kylo and the young bomber who was now bawling her eyes out. 

The teenage girl followed obediently, spreading her fingers wide while placing her hands in the air. She was about to step forward but Kylo blocked her path, instantaneously wrapping his broad arms on her shaking bodice. He kept her close, almost literally crushing her with his embrace. 

“No.” He whispered on the young bomber’s ear. “Whatever you do, do not go out of this cubicle.” He pleaded her. 

The young woman exhaled nervously on his neck as she looked up to meet his gaze. 

“Trust me.” He gazed back at her, his eyes, blazing with such confidence and resolve. “I will not let anything happen to you.” He whispered once more. 

“Move, officer.” One of the police officer commanded Kylo in red. “I won’t ask again. Move.” She hissed, flicking the safety of her gun down. 

“No,” Kylo defiantly answered. “Get me the bomb squad now!” He ordered them back. 

Kylo clicked his tongue. He knew the consequences if he attempted to move. They will shoot this young girl. 

No more unnecessary deaths. No more. 

“Move officer, or we will shoot.” One hissed back, his head tilting towards the scope of his gun. 

“She’s surrendering.” He repeated with conviction. “I need the bomb squad here!”

—

Rey huffed, her own breaths erratic that she thought she was going to suffocate. 

The police had arrived in time and their task of convincing the bomber not to blow the train was done. They were ordered to move, which she, despite her own knees shaking terribly, did. She moved out of the police officers’ line of fire, and yet this man, this stubborn man whose build was that of a giant Alderaan Cone Pine tree, was not getting out of harm’s way. 

The man had a death wish and she was more than willing not to join him. 

He kept calling for the bomb squad for some reason, an act which she cannot decipher. 

He then looked on the young bomber who was still shaking in fear, his shoulder length wavy black hair whipping in the air. “It’s okay.” He assured her. “It’s an BK-23. If they shoot, the bullet will go through the both of us and they will not shoot one of their own.” He consoled her, trying to sound confident. 

The realization hit her like a truck. He was protecting her. From what she can deduce, the man was a police officer and he knew protocol when it comes to terrorism threats — eliminate them once and for all. 

Rey swallowed hard, contemplating. What kind of man would risk his life for someone he doesn’t know?! A person who, just seconds ago, wanted to kill innocent people?

“Officer, this is your final warning. We will shoot!” The ADP tightly gripped her gun, her finger millimetres away from the trigger. 

“I told you, she’s surrendering.” The man with raven hair roared. “I need the bomb squad here.” His voice already faltering with his own conviction. 

It was chaos. Panic shouts filled the air, the teenager already sobbing violently as she clutched the black haired man’s shirt like her life depended on it. 

The situation was getting out of hand, Rey was sure of it. She knew she needed to do something, but what exactly? 

Before she could even think of a logical solution, her mouth opened. “Wrong!” Rey suddenly shouted. “Bullets of the BK-23 are coated with hardened magma of Mustafar. That bullet will go through the three of us.” She made a half-assed grin, deliberately blocking the officers’s line of fire with her own body. Rey kept her body close, her back literally latching onto the man’s back. She turned her head towards him, her eyes transfixed to his jet black eyes who glanced her way with a boatload of terror. 

She scoffed confidently soon after, a twinkle glimmering in her eyes. How sweet, she thought. He was afraid for her safety too but he was wrong. There’s nothing to be afraid of because if there is someone who can get the three of them out of this near death situation, it would be her. 

“They wouldn’t dare to shoot me.” She continued, her grin turning into a death glare. “Am I right officers?” She spat. 

“It’s the bomb squad or us. You choose.” 

One of responding police officers clicked his tongue. “Get the bomb squad here.” He finally radioed in. 

— —

“Alderaan’s Independence day sure has a brand new meaning to everyone of us. The foiled 11th of November bombing is all thanks to the first responders who stopped the bomber just right in time.”

“The Alderaan government, headed by Prime Minister Snoke, is hell bent on investigating the said incident, with the ADP, on high alert —“

Rey Kenobi clicked the television off. There was no need for the news. She was there, she knew what happened first hand. 

She sighed, grabbing a transparent coffee mug from her office table. She sipped it without reluctance, not minding on how cold the dark drink had already turned. 

She kept her gaze into nothing, her mind trailing with the events that happened yesterday. 

Yesterday, she was reckless. Reckless enough that she almost lost her life. What if those officers did not recognize her? 

She would have lost her life saving a dumb police office and a suicide bomber. It was a stupid choice, one that she would not repeat, no matter the circumstances. 

She had her resolve unbent and unbroken. Yet her mind trailed further, “It was Alderaan’s fault. With their modern guns and their killing machines...” She remembered the young bomber say. 

Modern guns, she thought once more. Modern guns that her company supplied; killing machines that she herself invented. It was, at some point, because of her. She was on top of the world — Alderaan’s number one arms dealer. 

If they didn’t supply those arms, the army would have nothing to use. There would be no machines that can be used for killing. 

Those deaths in Jakku, her home country, it was her fault. She brought them destruction, and watched on the sidelines as Alderaan tormented her home. 

Rey swallowed hard, the bitterness of her now cold coffee still latching on her throat. The guilt was seeping through her veins, her head beginning to pound violently. 

“I see you’re well.” A small hiss echoed in her office. 

“P-prime Minister Snoke.” Rey jolted in shock, instantly standing up to give reverence to the old man who entered her office room unnoticed. 

A small hum of acknowledgement escaped the old man’s lips. He took his time to take a seat, fixing the cloth of his golden robe on his knees. 

“I heard what happened yesterday.” The old man crinkled his already disfigured wrinkled face. “Helping stop a suicide bomber, always so courageous Rey Kenobi.” He added. 

The undertone of his words were apparent to her. He was mocking her, she figured, for being reckless. She kept quiet though, acquiescing in his words. 

“But you and I know better, you were reckless. Acting before thinking.” The prime minister continued. 

And there it was, no need to sugarcoat his words for it his right on the spot. “You know your place in this country. You know your position is too important for you to risk your life like that? Foiling a bomber? Are you stupid?” He clicked his tongue. 

“Didn’t you see what opportunity it would have brought us?” The old man continued. 

“It would have been the perfect opportunity for war. A justification for an invasion; To have your inventions rolling out in the open again.” 

She was silent, eating the insides of her mouth that she felt the taste of iron in it. 

“I would have died.” She hissed in protest finally. “I was just trying to save myself.” 

A scoff coming from the most powerful man in Alderaan. “And if I didn’t pick you up in that Jakku junkyard, you would have been.” 

“Remember your place, young one.” He hissed once more. “You are alive because you owe me. With that mind of yours, you serve my purpose.” 

Finally, the prime minister stood up, not before sliding a long brown envelope on her office desk. 

She shot a death glare, one that the prime minister thankfully missed. “What is this?” She gritted her teeth. 

“Your new bodyguard.” The old man casually said. 

“I don’t need one.” She said defiantly. “I can protect myself.”

“There is no question to that, I am sure.” He said, eyeing her from head to toe. 

“I just need to make sure that you won’t do anything reckless again.” He said before waving his hand to dismiss any possible arguments she could think of.


	2. The Woman in Red

Chapter 1: The Woman in Red

It’s always tossing and turning, then a good stare at his ceiling, then going back to tossing and turning. Kylo has been used to it during his sleepless nights. This time however, he tried something different — he closed his eyes and started imagining Nerfs jumping over his face. 

Counting herds to slumber was a method his old man had taught him. He wouldn’t have used it for lots of reasons; for one, it was childish and as a full grown man, he’s not expected to count bulls to lull him to sleep —that would be really embarrassing. But more importantly, it brought about childhood memories about his family, one that he wished he had forgotten. Yet he was desperate and as cliche as it was: desperate times calls for desperate measures. 

Still, counting up at least one hundred fifty of these native Alderaan bulls didn’t help one bit. He opened his eyes instead, contracting his abdominal muscles to pull himself up to sit. He sat on the side of his bed, his bare feet enjoying the slight ticklish feeling given by the woollen rug on the floor. He slumped his shoulders, his elbows resting on his knees as he crouched down and have his hands cover his face. 

It was like any other night, he thought. It was his staus quo. In fact, he has made it a habit to act like a worm, wriggling in destress every time he does not get some sleep, or just mindlessly staring at his ceiling. During those times though, he has nothing on his mind. He just doesn’t get to sleep. But this time, he knew it wasn’t the case. Something has been bugging him; agitating him so much that it caused a further trigger to his already triggered insomnia. 

He sighed, finally standing up to wear a gray hoddie and black jogging pants resting on the backrest of his couch. 

He needed some air. 

With his hands dug deep in the pockets of his gray hoodie, Kylo walked to nowhere. He had no particular destination in mind, he just needed to think; and the walk towards anywhere makes the contemplation more self-reflective. Not that he was actually thinking; nothing ran through his mind, not even the thoughts that were bothering him. He was spacing out still; his surroundings as he walked, blurred and jaded. 

His feet had been on autopilot for the longest time, him just walking and striding some more until he stopped, finally snapping out of his own trance, at the sight of an indoor basketball gymnasium. 

He scoffed out loud, muttering a curse directed at his subconscious. He massaged his nape before shaking his head side to side in disbelief. How his feet got him here, he doesn’t know. But since he was already there, might as well go on with it, he thought. 

His resolve to “go on with it” fizzled as soon as he reached the two large doors of the gymnasium — one latched to a close, while the other widely open, as if inviting people in. Kylo paced unsurely, making sure that he kept his strides well within the closed part of the door as to not expose himself to what’s inside. 

Soon, he took a small peek, his eyes searching for someone familiar. Kylo instantly found what he was looking for. 

His friend had been surrounded by people. They were sitting on small mono-block chairs, neatly distanced away from each other to form a circle. Poe Dameron, his friend, stood right in the middle. He was babbling before he got a glimpse of him. With a twinkle in his eye, he smirked smugly at Kylo. 

Kylo grimaced, rolling his eyes before cocking his head back to hide behind the large door. He leaned heavily on the closed frame, reluctantly playing with his fingers that were still hidden inside the pockets of his hoodie. 

“We are almost done with today’s session.” Kylo’s ears perked as he heard Poe talk. 

“But before we close, would anyone else like to share?” He said out loud. 

“Anyone?” He repeated, this time, he was almost shouting. 

Kylo clicked his tongue as his mouth began to twitch to form a smug smirk. He knew that the question was specifically directed to him. 

Christ, Dameron, he thought. Always so pushy. 

There was silence after that. Nobody was up for Poe’s challenge. Not him, especially not him. But a small “oh” escaped Poe’s lips, one that was loud enough for Kylo to hear. Kylo peeked once more on the opened door, finally seeing a man, barely in his late twenties, reluctantly raising his right hand. 

“Hi.” The man began shyly. “My name is Tom.” 

“Hi, Tom.” Poe and the other people with him greeted. 

“I’m a m-medic.” Tom reluctantly continued. “Well, was a medic.”

Silence.

Tom fidgeted. But he considered the silence as an sign to continue. “Just like most people here, I served... in Jakku... j-just one tour.” He balked unsurely. 

From outside, Kylo bit the edges of his lip before leaning again on the door frames. He knitted his brows in displeasure; his gut beginning to rile up with loathe and anger. He hated listening to these kinds of stuff. 

“I was —“ Tom exhaled a sharp sigh. “I was on my sixth month of service when it happened. My unit was assigned to the northern border of Jakku where the fighting was the least intense.” He chuckled dryly. 

“The boys were confident back then, always joking that my position wasn’t useful...” Tom pursed his mouth, his lips forming a thin line. “...that I should just go home because there wasn’t a need for a medic because the fighting won’t reach the northern border.” 

Tom heaved a heavy sigh, his voice beginning to crack as struggled to continue. “They were wrong. The boys were dead wrong.”

“One day, we were just attacked... and just like that, most soldiers in my unit died.” Tom started to cry, but desperately tried to bite back his tears. 

The people were silent. Poe heaved a sigh. He opened his mouth to talk; to console Tom probably, but the kid wasn’t done yet. 

“The worst part is...” Tom bawled his eyes out. “They were calling for me. So fucking desperately.”

“And I...” He choked, “...I was a fucking coward!” He raised his voice, finally shouting his confession. 

“I didn’t help them. Their pleas didn’t matter to me. I hid until the fighting was over. I just wanted to save my own skin.” He cried further.

“I... I wanted to help,” he sniffed. “I really wanted to. But I was — it was—“ Tom never continued. 

“And now every night, I see their faces. I dream of their screams, their terror, I hear them calling my name; asking me to help them.”

“I don’t deserve to live!” Tom finally screamed. 

— —

Kylo massaged his temples as he sat down on an empty bench just outside the gymnasium. From where he sat, he could see Poe, his hands on Tom’s shoulder, still offering some words of comfort to the poor kid. They ended with a hug, with Poe telling the young soldier that he is always there if he needed someone to talk to — that was Kylo’s assumption. But knowing Poe, that’s probably what he said. 

Soon, the man joined Kylo beside the bench, visibly limping as he walked. He leaned in, his elbows resting on top of his knees. Neither men acknowledged each other’s presence. They were silent, staring at nothing before Poe finally spoke. 

“You know there’s nothing wrong in attending counselling sessions.” He said as he finally straightened his back to lean on the backrest of the bench. “They’re really helpful.” 

“I know.” Kylo answered, his gaze still straight. “Except there’s nothing wrong with me.” He said flatly. 

Silence, then a snort coming from the both of them. “Bullshit.” They said simultaneously, with Poe ending with a light chuckle and Kylo pursing his lips to make a raspberry. 

“Thanks for the offer.” Kylo followed up. “But I can handle it.” He lied. 

A scoff came from Poe. “Always so tough.” He teased. “Even back then, you’re still so tough.” He smacked Kylo on his back that made the black haired man wince. 

“I’m still your commanding officer.” Kylo gazed at him, trying to be serious. But his smirk betrayed him. 

“Too bad, we’re no longer in the army.” Poe retorted, chuckling. 

“But seriously, man.” Poe suddenly sounded earnest. “These sessions, it helped me a lot, especially at times when...” he paused, exhaling. “...when I thought I couldn’t handle it anymore.” Poe finally said before rummaging something in his jacket pocket. 

“I thought you quit?” Kylo muttered, frowning down at a pack of cigarettes Poe was offering. 

“I thought you’d never come and visit.” He answered as he took one stick, trapping one in between his lips. 

“Fair enough.” Kylo shrugged as he took one stick of his own. 

Poe momentarily stared at him, surprised that he took the death stick. 

“Only on special occasions.” Kylo mumbled, watering down the obvious shock that bled through Poe’s eyes. 

“Aww..” Poe nudged his commanding officer. “I’m special to my CO.” He conjured a fake giggle which made Kylo grimace. 

“Don’t flatter yourself, idiot.” Kylo muttered embarrassingly before opening his palm. 

His subordinate instantly searched for his other pocket, handing Kylo the a small metallic zippo lighter. Poe chuckled at his commanding officer’s reaction as he kept frowning even after successfully lighting his death stick. But his chuckle had soon gone dry; suspended in the air that it sounded more of an exasperated sigh rather than a laugh. 

They both had gone quiet afterwards. Poe lighted his cigarette too. Silence swept them again as they alternately blew smoke into the air. It was comfortable, as it was melancholic. 

There was a time in the sandy plains of Jakku where they would sit side by side, inside their barracks, casually smoking their lungs out. But back then, it was all different. Poe and Kylo weren’t the only ones enjoying the only luxury they had during the invasion of Jakku. In those make shift tents, they were surrounded by other members of the 17th Special Forces Unit: Wedge, Biggs, Motti, Connix, Cannady, Tico, and Emmatt. 

— —

**5 Years Ago**  
**South West of Jakku**  
**Tour No. 2**  
**2 days before discharge**

“Why? Why the fuck am I still here?” Poe Dameron, Weapons Sergeant of the 17th Special Forces Unit of the Alderaan Army, wiped a bead of sweat on his brow as he grumbled in protest. 

“Oh shut it, Dameron.” Paige Tico, 2nd Weapons Sergeant, scolded her comrade. Despite the dark sunglasses covering her eyes, Paige shielded her face as she continued to traverse the seemingly endless desert. The sun in Jakku has always been unforgiving, but today, it was especially vindictive. 

They had been walking in the sand for three hours straight now and anyone who’s in their right mind would have complained. They shouldn’t be complaining because they have trained for this. Again, they shouldn’t — except for Poe of course, he was always the whiny one. But his continued lamentation of their circumstances was beginning to take a toll on them — physically and emotionally, the team was starting to get exhausted. 

“I am an Alderaan Special Forces Soldier...” Lieutenant Kylo Ren, sniper and Commanding Officer of Alderaan’s 17th Special Forces Unit barked behind them. 

Poe shrugged, his shoulders resigned as he looked back at his CO. “Really, lieutenant?” He sighed in disbelief. “Are we really doing this right now?” 

Lieutenant Ren did not answer, sending instead a death glare to his weapons sergeant that he stuttered to continue. “I-I am a professional!” Poe gawked out loud, straightening himself too much that he almost fell backwards. 

The group chuckled, finding Poe’s antics funny. “I will do all that my nation requires of me!” Billy Emmatt, Medical Sergeant, roared through the burst of laughter. 

“I am a volunteer, knowing well the hazards of my profession.” All of them, now barking with conviction. “I will serve the memory of those who have gone before me.” They ended. 

“Good.” Kylo offered a small smirk from behind them. “Now you won’t have a problem walking for another four hours.” He said, gaze straight and unwavering. 

Silence. His team stopped in their tracks; simultaneously, they turned their heads to face their CO. They stared at him, eyes wide in shock; their jaws dropping in the sand. 

“Oh, c’mon!” Poe kicked the sand, its loose grains hitting Kaydel Connix, their Intelligence Sergeant, from behind. Before Connix could even send her own death glare towards Poe, Lieutenant Ren offered hope. 

“It was a joke.” He mumbled, the seriousness of his low voice faltering. “Your commanding officer can make jokes too.” His lips curled awkwardly. 

“Oh, sir...” Paige shook her head in disbelief before finally sighing in relief. 

“What?” Kylo retorted innocently. “I thought it was funny.” He mumbled with conviction, trying to hide the flush that set on his sweat filled face as his men glowered at him with their brows raised, unamused. 

“No, sir.” Joe Wedge, Communications Sergeant sighed in resignation. “It is not funny. At all.” He frowned. 

“I second the motion, sir.” Oscar Biggs, Special Forces Warrant Officer, mumbled shyly while raising his hand in the air like a student in class.

“You’ll miss my jokes when we get discharged.” Kylo offered as he crossed his arms on his broad chest. 

“Jokes? With an S?” Seargent Steven Motti, 2nd Communications Officer, chuckled. “With all due respect sir, in our two years here, this is the first joke you’ve told us.”

“We’ll miss you, lieutenant.” Connix interjected, grinning. “But not your jokes.” She snorted, and the others agreed while chuckling. 

“It’s worse than any other Dad joke...” Poe paused, his eyes widening with pretentious terror. “Oh God, please don’t get married, sir. No woman can handle your corny jokes.” 

Just like he had a eureka moment, Poe then smirked haughtily. Raising both palms, he signalled everybody to stop and pay attention. “If the Lieutenant ever finds a woman who can take his “jokes”, I will fucking treat everyone of you to a cruise in the Middle Sea.” He continued. 

Lieutenant Ren scoffed; he marched towards Sergeant Dameron before smacking the smaller man on the back. “Impossible.” He frowned. “You’re fucking broke, Dameron.”

They all, including Poe, laughed out loud. 

Kylo blinked. Finally, an effective joke, he thought as he almost snorted. 

By the way, his team was right, he is bad at making jokes. He’s never been the funny one. But in just two days time, they will be going on their separate ways. So might as well do something unexpected. 

Finally, they will be able to go home. And he was sure as hell he’ll going to miss this mischievous lot. They were the only ones who made his stay in this hellhole worthwhile. 

They weren’t just comrades; their relationship is not just that of a superior - subordinate. They were brothers and sisters of war — a bond stronger than blood. 

They were a family. His family — his only family. 

“We’ll set camp, one kilometer from here — at Niima Outpost.” Kylo cleared his throat after sensing that his men had been laughing too much. 

A twinkle of relief in their eyes. 

“I have no problem walking for another kilometer if it means I can smoke.” Paige smiled, nudging Poe. 

“Yeah.” Poe nodded in assent. “I need that god damn break too.” He finally smiled. 

— —

“Tell me again why we’re walking?” Poe heaved a heavy exhale as he let his knees crash on the sand. 

Exhausted wasn’t even the right word to describe it. The fatigue felt like he was going to die. At one point, he thought he was seeing a mirage. 

“Don’t you tell me that ‘Alderan has no money bullshit’.” Poe barked upon seeing Henry Cannady’s, 2nd Warrant Officer, open his mouth to talk. 

“We all know our country’s not broke.” He frowned. 

“The lieutenant says Niima Outpost is an abandoned junkyard.” Paige intercepted the conversation. “We can salvage vehicles there.” She mused, her eyes trailing at Lieutenant Ren who was setting his gear down. 

“And how did the lieutenant know all that shit?” Poe grumbled, rolling his eyes at the sight of Paige blushing as Kylo caught her staring. 

Immediately, Paige whipped her head to face Poe, dialling down the fact that she was blushing like an overripe tomato at the sight of her CO. Placing her hands on her waist, she shrugged her shoulders. “He’s been here longer than anyone of us. He can probably navigate Jakku with his eyes closed.” She stated the obvious. “More importantly, we’re not supposed to be here. So we can’t get our vehicles because people back in the barracks will notice.” She hissed quietly. 

It was true, they weren’t supposed to be in the South Western part of Jakku. But they were ordered by General Ackbar, commanding officer of the 85th battalion for the Southern Region of Jakku, to investigate. It was a reconnaissance mission, the general had been explicit about it. 

There had been reports from confidential informants, natives of Jakku, that military grade weapons were being stocked just kilometers away from Niima Outpost. That’s all the information the general got, and truthfully, unverified reports is something not worth the Special Forces’ time. But the general had his suspicions, one that was so dangerous — an inkling, that the Alderaan government was involved; and the only one he trusted with such information is Lieutenant Kylo Ren. 

Investigate and leave. That was the order of their Lieutenant as soon as he got a briefer from the general. But he’s not the type of man who would leave his men in the dark. So Ren told them everything; giving his men the discretion to leave. 

None did because they are not leaving their CO behind. After all, they are a family. 

“Get up, moron, we still need to set camp.” Biggs approached, shaking his head as he ordered Poe to get up.

“Nah, man.” Poe got up and brushed the sand away from his knees. “I need to commandeer one of those vehicles.” He grinned. 

— —

True to what their Lieutenant said, Niima Outpost was an abandoned junkyard. They never bothered to set their make shift tents for there were lots of dome-like structures in the vicinity. 

It must have been houses, the team wondered. One that was made by pure hardened sand, reinforced with wood or steel bars. For a while, they stared in awe, but then again, they are not here to marvel. 

Poe was able to obtain a truck and a motorcycle. And he was sure as hell that he would be riding that motorcycle to everyone’s displeasure. 

“Stop acting cool, Poe.” Biggs whined. “You do not even know how to ride one.”

“Lieutenant knows how.” Connix suddenly said, not without flustering furiously as the rest of the team eyed her with their brows raised, wondering on how she knew such things.

“What?” Connix raised her brows too before crossing her arms. Good thing the lieutenant, Motti, Cannady and Wedge were outside patrolling. “I’ve been here for the longest time too. I saw him ride once, before he was promoted as CO.” There was glimmer in her eyes as she remembered the beautiful memory. 

“I get to ride with him!” Paige suddenly said. 

“Hey no fair!” Connix muttered, scowling. 

Poe scowled too. Their CO had always been the center of attention, especially with the lady servicemen; one that Kylo is completely unaware of, or just chose to ignore. Either way, Lieutenant Ren’s lack of action and/or reaction made him look cooler in the eyes of other soldiers. He was that kind of soldier, one that is truly dedicated in serving the Alderaan nation. 

Lieutenant Ren was not the type to smile, not that he is fond of frowning either. He just keeps a straight face — a poker face— shrouding the possible thoughts he can possibly express. It was impressive, really. At one point, Poe wanted to invite him in Canto Bight, a small casino country, just to test on how long the lieutenant can keep that straight face. 

Maybe it’s the hair, Poe finally convinced himself; those luscious black locks that kept bouncing despite the heat in Jakku. For the Maker’s sake, even if that hair is covered for the longest time with a helmet, once he removes it, it seems like magic. 

But who is he kidding? With 25 confirmed kills and counting, already matching the previous record holder — Anakin Skywalker, Kylo Ren is the best sniper that ever stepped foot in Jakku. There’s no question why people in the military, men and women alike, adore him. 

“Oh shut up, you two.” Poe said, elbowing the two women sitting beside him. “I’ll ride with him, so you two can stop fighting. God, the Lieutenant is not even that handsome.” He frowned. “I don’t know why literally everybody has a crush on —“ Poe froze, grinning menacingly. 

Connix gasped, before Poe could even open his mouth, the lady soldier tackled him with her pure might. “Dameron!” She shouted. 

Apparently, lieutenant Ren entered the dome, bending his head for the small entrance to accommodate his full height. He was quiet, just opening his palm like a literal beggar. 

That’s their boss’ signal. He’a asking for a cigarette, thankfully oblivious on the reason why there is suddenly a wrestling match in his camp. 

“What are you doing, Connix?” Kylo raised his eyebrows at Connix who just flipped Dameron on the ground. With her knee, Connix pinned him underneath her; not minding Bigg’s comment to finish Poe off. 

“Don’t just disable him, break his arm for the Maker’s sake.” Kylo frowned at Poe. 

Poe squirmed like a worm, raising his head up, “Very funny, Lieutenant.” He grunted. “The truth is, the girls and I were just wondering why —“

“We were wondering why everybody has a crush on Dameron!” Paige interjected, her eyes wide and threatening, silently telling Poe to shut the hell up or she would end him. 

“Oh.” Lieutenant Ren smiled — one that was playful that his crooked teeth showed. And for the love of the Maker, he actually smiled; stunning Connix and Tico in their places. “It’s probably the hair.” He continued unsurely. 

It made Poe conjure a snort. He was thinking the same thing about their Lieutenant. 

With the slowest movements, and not in any way looking at their CO, Paige opened a small camouflaged pouch on her waist. “Here you go, sir.” She said shyly, handing Kylo a cigarette stick. 

“Thanks, Paige.” Kylo mumbled, as if testing out her name. 

Paige nodded furiously. It’s the first time Kylo called her by her first name. 

“Dinner at 2100. Rest until then. You guys are patrolling after dinner.” He said before he excused himself out. 

A relieved sigh escaped everybody’s lips. 

“Paige?” Connix frowned at a smiling Tico. “God, when will he call me by my first name?” She whined. 

“Paige. Kaydel.” Poe smouldered, trying to look cool. “I’m calling you by your first name. Acknowledge me too!” He teased. 

Further protests from the two women followed by them smacking Poe soon after. 

It was a fun night in Jakku. 

— —

**Nimma Outpost**  
**1 day before discharge**

Connix was in charge of brewing tea. Others sat quietly, opening canned goods, their breakfast, while at the same time smoking. 

Lieutenant Ren puffed his own cigarette. Sitting on his bottom with his legs crossed underneath it, he stared intently at a small map, while the whole team waited for instructions. 

“Based on reports, the weapons are hidden here.” He said as he encircled with his finger a small dot on the map. 

His team nodded in assent as they chewed their breakfast. 

“We’re not here to ‘hit and run’.” Kylo said with a serious voice. “I need information. And that’s it. We go.” He said further. 

“Roger!” They said simultaneously. 

“If there is force?” Weapons Sergeant, Poe Dameron hissed. 

“Eliminate them.” Kylo growled. 

“Roger that.”

— —

Just as the Poe, Paige and Connix discussed, their Lieutenant had the motorcycle and Poe got to ride with him. 

They traversed the desert, silent and in focus. The jokes can wait until they are discharged for they are in a mission. 

Soon, they reached their destination — it was another dome like structure below the hill, but larger than what they had seen in the outpost. 

They disembarked silently, Lieutenant Ren signalling the team to regroup. With their semi-automatic rifles pointed in the front; the safety of each firearm down, they were ready. 

First off, Wedge, Biggs, Cannady and Dameron, were the foot soldiers. With Dameron and Cannady taking the lead, Biggs and Wedge behind them for back up; they slowly slid downhill, towards the dome in precise and quiet steps. 

Emmat stayed inside the truck — the designated driver if ever shit hit the fan. Tico was just outside, hidden behind the wheels, readying ammunitions, just in case. Motti was beside her, clutching tightly his radio. 

Lieutenant Ren positioned himself on the sand, just where their trucks were parked uphill for a good vantage point. Connix laid quietly beside him, binoculars blocking her eyes. 

With his belly flat on the ground, Kylo gazed at his scope, trailing his four subordinates before taking a good view of the dome with his scope. 

“No movements.” Connix reported, to which Kylo agreed. 

“Move in.” Kylo radioed in. 

“Roger.” The four foot soldiers radioed back.

“Entering the north gate.” Poe followed up. 

Cannady, Dameron, Biggs and Wedge disappeared from the view as they entered the dome. All was quiet until —

“Everybody, down on the ground!” Dameron shouted. 

Wedge soon followed. “On your knees. Hands in the air!”

Little screams filled their communicator. 

“Translate Cannady!” Poe hissed in his comm. 

It alarmed the rest of the team, but not their CO. “Talk to me.” He said sternly. There was no gunfire, so his men are safe. 

“Civilians, sir.” Cannady supplied. “Children.” He added with a sigh. 

“Anything else?” Kylo gritting his teeth in anger. Using children, fucking Empire, he thought. 

“I think we just hit the jackpot, sir.” Poe reported. 

“Roger that, we’re coming down.” Lieutenant Ren said, signalling Tico and Connix.

— —

A whistle from Biggs; a grin from Dameron. They indeed hit the jackpot. Crates, more than fifty of them, had been placed systematically on top of one another that it almost leveled Kylo’s height. 

Wedge had already been photographing the closed crates in different angles when Kylo signalled Cannady and Biggs to open one of them. 

Connix and Tico were outside, walking the children towards their parked truck. There were four of them— all little girls of reddish-brown color; the oldest was probably not older than ten. 

“Fucking hell, Lieutenant.” Cannady hissed as one of the crates finally creaked open. Then everyone was dead silent. 

It was a grenade launcher. 

“Fuck!” Poe cursed as he recognized the model. It was an SK405, 50mm under barrel grenade launcher, one that is an attachment to the SK706 — their standard issued military rifles. 

True to General Ackbar’s suspicions, the weapons were military grade. Worse, it was issued by — 

“Star Killer Industries.” Lieutenant Ren hissed. 

“Star-fucking-killer?” Poe gritted his teeth. “Isn’t that Alderaan’s weapons’ supplier?!” 

“Alderaan’s only supplier.” Ren corrected. He heaved a sigh soon after. “But this is not ours.” He supplied. 

“Finish photographing those.” Ren ordered Wedge, Cannady and Biggs. “We move out in five.” 

“Roger that.” 

“Sir.” Poe tried to match the strides of his Lieutenant as he left the dome. “Sir!” He shouted once more. “We can’t leave these weapons lying around here!”

“We won’t.” Kylo stopped, facing his sergeant. He lit a cigarette, “Good thing gun powder is flammable.” He hissed, flicking the metallic zippo lighter to a close before handing it to Poe. 

“Roger that.” Poe grinned, immediately getting his commanding officer’s silent order. 

Those five minutes felt forever. Poe was restless, flipping open and close the lighter Ren had given him. He and the lieutenant were still outside, on guard. 

Flicking his cigarette, Kylo watched as Tico and Connix continued to move uphill; the four children trailing silently in between them as they reached their destination half-way. 

But soon there was a ruckus. Connix and Tico shouted a collective “Oi!” before attempting to catch the children who began to run back towards the dome. It alerted Kylo and Poe as they brisk walked forward, trying to either block the children from returning or catching them. 

Connix and Tico ran downhill, Poe ran uphill to trap the children. Kylo stood still behind Poe, on his guard, knowing that these little kids may easily slip pass Poe. But there was one who voluntarily stopped, the oldest of them, as she was meters away from the dome. Connix and Tico heaved heavy breathes as they finally caught up with the oldest child. 

The other three critters though, stubbornly sprinted towards the dome. One of them latching herself firmly on Poe’s leg, while the other two cried and hugged Kylo’s legs. 

“What’s wrong?” Poe gently said in native Alderaan as he knelt down to rustle the child’s hair, hoping that his gentleness can do the talking. She did not say anything but merely clutched his leg tighter, hiding behind it. 

The lieutenant on the other hand did not bother to start a conversation. Freeing his both hands from his service rifle, Ren scooped the children by their bellies; one child on each arm. They squirmed and wiggled in protest but they couldn’t do anything. 

“It’s dangerous here.” He said in a broken Jakku tongue. “Sister Paige and Sister Kaydel will keep you safe.” He whispered softly. 

Kylo speaking in native Jakku momentarily calmed the children down. But as soon as he passed Poe, who was by the way grimacing at the way he carried the children, one of them squeaked to speak. 

“Bomb.” She mumbled in thick Jakkuniuan; one hand clutching Kylo’s uniform in terror, while the other pointing at the oldest child that was with Tico and Connix. 

The only thing Kylo managed to do was to widen his eyes in terror. He wanted to turn his gaze towards his team, but in a flash, there was nothing more but a loud deafening noise, the sand rumbling in agitation below them. 

It happened faster than a blink of an eye. The dome they were just searching minutes ago disappearing to oblivion. 

The shock wave unwillingly threw Kylo’s body from one point to the other. In that chaos, he felt one body slip from his arm before having the consciousness to tighten his grip on the remaining child he held by his arms. Soon, his body crashed, back first, with his remaining strength, he managed to wrap the last child in his hands before they tumbled on the sand. 

It wasn’t over. Just as fast as the force sent them flying, an unknown vacuum pulled him back towards the source of the explosion. He groaned, struggling futility as he dug into the sand, planting his free hand on its loose grains. He desperately covered the child underneath him, not knowing if she was alive or dead. 

Everything seemingly happening simultaneously — a wave of incinerating heat covered his body, his back already burning literally. But there was no pain still, Kylo merely rolled on the sand to extinguish them. He pulled the child close, covering her again as sand, flying debris, shrapnel and shell fragmentation came flying all over the place, thankfully, missing them. 

Then there was nothing more than a high pitched noise ringing in his ears. He moved and fell back on the ground— shell shocked. Despite the world spinning before his eyes, he began to shake his head side to side. Kylo opened his jaws wide, to release the eerie tinnitus that set on his hearing. 

The first thing he did was to check himself for injuries, feeling his chest, stomach and legs. He was still in one piece, thankfully. 

Kylo was already on his knees, crawling desperately to check on the kid he was protecting. Immediately, he checked for a pulse, exhaling in relief after finding out that she just passed out. He crawled further, asking himself where the other child was. 

When he found her, she was already dead. The little girl, barely six years old was down on the ground, face on the sand, missing an arm. 

Kylo watched as her blood seeped through the brown grains.

I’m sorry, he thought. 

He couldn’t save her. 

I’m so fucking sorry. 

But there was no time for grief or regret for he stood, wobbling and out of balance. The burn on his back stung like crazy with his every move but he didn’t care. 

Where? He thought instantly, where is his team?!

Connix and Paige were already shouting and running towards the blast site. A gun shot echoed near them. 

Whoever took the shot did not matter as the eldest child fell on the ground. In her hand was a trigger which detonated the explosion. 

“Lieutenant!” Kylo heard Tico’s muffled shout ringing on his ongoing tinnitus. 

Kylo wanted to acknowledge but there was groaning and screaming not three feet away from him. 

Half of Poe’s body was literally burning. Despite the after effects of the blast, Kylo managed to run towards him, kicking and covering Poe’s body with sand. The weapon’s sergeant screamed in pain, the flesh below his cheek right up until his right arm was raw and exposed as second to third degree burns seeped through his skin. 

The child who was with him, was now burned to a crisp. 

I’m sorry. He thought once again. 

“Can you get up?” Kylo barked at his subordinate soon after. 

Poe winced, struggling to get on his knees despite the excruciating pain. “I’m not dead yet.” He barked back. 

As soon as the dust cloud simmered down, Kylo searched for the other members of his team. Biggs, Wedge and Cannady were directly in the explosion’s radius. There is nothing he could do for them except —

“Cannady!” Kylo roared as he ran. 

Cannady’s body was there, the lower half trapped underneath the sand dome that collapsed on top of them. Just like Poe, there were burns on his body but he was still breathing. 

Kylo dug, and dug, until the there was a large enough hole to pull Cannady’s body out. “Don’t you sleep on me, Cannady.” He roared an order, but his voice already faltering in terror. 

Cannady merely hissed an exhale before Kylo grabbed the collar of his army uniform to pull him out. Kylo groaned and growled, mustering all of his strength to get his man to safety. 

Then a grotesque clicking; a disgusting mushing noise, then the sound of bones breaking. Alarmed, Kylo looked back in terror — Cannady’s lower extremities, from his waist down, disengaged from his upper body. 

Body parts spilled, Cannady’s intestines rolled out on the open as soon as Kylo pulled. The lieutenant shuddered in terror, his whole body frozen. He knew there was nothing else he could do, but he was just there, staring at Cannady’s now lifeless (upper) body. 

I’m sorry, he thought. 

Static on his ear, one that he missed. Then Motti’s voice roared. “Sniper! Two degrees —“ then a choking sound. 

It took a second before Kylo snapped out of his trance. Not only there was an explosion, they were being ambushed!

“Shots fired! Shots fired!” Connix and Tico roared in the air. 

Kylo grit his teeth. Leave no man behind, dead or alive — their unit’s unspoken motto reverberated on his ears. But there was no other choice but to run. 

“Emmatt!” Kylo roared in his comm, but Emmatt was already moving. 

Kylo heard tires screech in the sand, Emmatt already furiously driving down. 

But there was a sudden rain of gunfire coming from behind him as well as in his front. Connix and Tico had reached Poe, already firing their rifles. 

Kylo ran towards them. His relfexes made him duck as the bullets continued to fire. He soon reached Poe, Tico and Connix. The women kept on firing, but there was no target; in that black smoke and dust dancing around them, they fired blindly. Hoping, just hoping, that the return of bullet with bullet would deter their attackers. 

“Leave me!” Poe roared in self-loathe on his uselessness. The burns on his body was worse than they thought. The exposed flesh did not merely reached his right arm, but his right leg had caught on fire to. He could not stand, no matter how hard he tries. 

“Shut up. You have one more leg so use it.” Connix roared as she fired. 

“Reloading!” She roared as she moved behind Tico, who walked in front of her to fire her rifle as Connix reloaded. 

“Save yourselves you fucking idiots!” Poe growled. He tried to stand, but it was futile. 

“One more word and I’ll put a bullet in your head.” Paige muttered. 

Without warning, Lieutenant Ren began dragging Poe from the back of his collar. 

“Sir, I’m dead weight!” He pleaded desperately. 

“Shut the fuck up!” All three of the screamed at Poe. 

“Leave no man behind.” Paige gritted her teeth, her voice cracking as she roared. 

Emmatt was meeting them, but the remaining four soldiers had to run uphill, in the middle of the barrage of bullets, just to cut the distance between safety and instant death. 

On their way up, Connix had picked up the last surviving child, giving her to Poe. Dameron carefully rested the little girl on his chest, hugging her with one arm as their lieutenant relentlessly dragged them both. 

“Reloading!” It was Tico’s turn to shout. Without having any form of conversation whatsoever, Kylo let go of Poe; Paige after cocking her gun, substituted her CO to pull. 

“3:00!” Poe gritted his teeth. 

Instantly, Kylo turned to his right, firing his rifle. This time, it had a target — men clad in black military uniforms — soldiers from the Empire. 

“Mag!” Connix roared, and Poe Dameron followed. With his free hand, Poe searched the magazine on his belt, throwing it at Connix. 

It was a system — an unspoken system;  
one built on skill, expertise, and trust. In the rain of gunfire, Poe Dameron served as the team’s eyes and ammunition supplier. Connix was the gunner; Paige and Kylo were back up. 

They took turns; As Connix reloaded, Paige became the main gunner while Kylo pulled the injured Dameron. When Paige ran out of bullets, the Lieutenant systematically drops his hold on Poe, serving as the new back up or main gunner, while Paige instantly substituted her lieutenant to pull. 

Their system had been like that as they treaded on the seemingly endless distance towards safety. Just a few feet more before Emmatt reaches them. 

Just a few more meters. 

Nobody else has to die. 

But that hope fizzled in the air as whip of a sound broke through them. A gasp, and their commanding officer stumbled on the sand as he took fire. 

“Lieutenant!” Connix screamed, dropping her rifle to run towards him. 

“I’m fine!” Kylo roared, “Don’t you dare, Connix! Keep your goddamn gun up!” He warned his intelligent officer not to help him. 

Kylo groaned as he noticed that blood started to gush from his side, the red liquid oozing; it’s current, flowing a bit faster every time he moves. The bullet seemed to have went through and through. It wasn’t a fatal shot — no major organs damaged. But it was the blood loss, that will be his unseen enemy from this point forward. 

But he doesn’t care of the wound, or the fact that he can die with it. His team — he must get them to safety. 

“Lieutenant!” Connix, stubborn fucking Connix, screamed as she ran towards he CO. She tried to pull her CO up; his arms already resting on her shoulder. 

“I said, go!” Lieutenant Ren protested, pushing Connix away. “I can fucking walk, now run! That’s an order!” He barked at her. 

Connix shrieked, biting her lips as she let go of Kylo’s arm. At one point her eyes were conflicted. But she cocked her gun, resolve unbroken, pointing it to the front. 

If her CO says he’s okay, then she’s sure as hell that he is okay. “I need back-up, sir.” She hissed, eyes glistening, already trying so hard to bite her uncertainties away. 

“I got you. Now move!” Kylo smirked, thankful for her trust. 

Connix answered with a smug nod of her own. 

A silver lining — Emmatt and his truck finally reached them. Its tires screamed as he pulled the hand break, making the rusty truck turn a full one hundred and eighty degrees before coming on to a full stop in front of them. 

It’s metallic structure momentarily provided protection; bullets merely ricocheting with a loud clanking. 

“Go! Go! Go!” Emmatt screamed, firing his own rifle to the open desert to provide cover. 

Tico and Dameron were the first to go. With the most painful scream, Poe lifted the child in his arms, literally throwing her inside. He then tried to lift himself inside the truck, rolling and huffing in exhaustion and pure agony as he desperately crawled inside. 

Tico was helping him, pushing his buttocks with her shoulder just to support him. 

“Connix! Lieutenant! Inside, now!” Paige screamed. 

Kylo positioned himself on the side of the hood of the truck. He was done with his semi-automatic rifle, instead, he whipped out his SK-01 — his military issued sniping rifle. 

He gazed at his scope, searching desperately, where the enemy’s sniper was situated. He has to take him down. Kill the son of a bitch and their probability of their survival would increase big time. 

2 degrees. Kylo remembered Motti say before he too fell victim to the sniper. 

2 degrees from where?!

“Connix! Go!” He shouted at Connix who was still in front, shooting. 

Kylo found an enemy but it was another foot soldier in black. He pulled the trigger nonetheless — a precise four pounds of force on the trigger and the soldier in black fell before his eyes. 

As soon as Kylo took the shot, Connix ran. She turned her back towards her CO, but another whip echoed in Kylo’s ears. 

Too close. The sound was too close. 

Kylo’s eyes slowly moved to his left; his heart, beginning to pound ruthlessly on his chest that the vibrations reached his ears. From his peripheral vision, Kaydel Connix, his Intelligence Officer, fell face first in the sand. 

“Kaydel!” Paige was screaming from the truck, her hand outstretched in hoping to assist her friend moments before she was shot at her nape. 

Tico went berserk afterwards. She violently struggled, kicking and punching Dameron, ordering him to let her go. Dameron whimpered and groaned, gritting his teeth; trying his best to subdue Paige who was now brimming with rage. 

Everything became blurred and jaded. There were no sound of gun fire; the engine of the running truck muted to nothing; the screams of the rest of his team muffling on Kylo’s ears; he felt no pain — not in the burn wounds on his back, or the bullet wound on his torso. 

There was nothing — nothing but pure raw rage he felt enveloping his body. 

He was angry; he wanted retribution. But rage has no place for a sniper. So Kylo returned to his scope. His focus, undisturbed. He grit his teeth as he analyzed. 2 degrees south, probably south, from where Motti was but that was irrelevant now. They were far away from their initial position so Kylo trusted his instincts. 

It was a sniper’s rat race now. The first to find one survives. So Kylo exhaled a hiss, concentrating. 

He found him. 6 degrees south. It took him half a second to adjust based on the slope of the terrain and the Jakku breeze whispering in his ears. 

Then he squeezed his trigger. A precise shot in the middle of the eyes and he was down. 

The enemy sniper was down. 

But he wasn’t done yet. The rage that he swallowed came exploding right off his head. He reloaded his rifle, cocking it on the side. 

Where are the rest, he thought as he slid his gun to the left. 

Where are they? He bared his teeth. 

Where the fuck are they hiding because he will kill them all!

There was one taking cover by the remains of the dome. Stupid, because his black helmet was sticking out in the Jakku sand. 

He took another shot — the bullet piercing millimetres below the enemy soldier’s helmet. 

More. That’s the only thought Kylo had. 

More!

“10 degrees south west!” He heard Emmatt scream. 

The instructions rang through his ears like a gospel. In a flash, Kylo adjusted, once more pulling the trigger. His force on the small metallic attachment getting heavier and heavier with anger. 

Another one dead. 

“For Motti, you ugly fucks!” Kylo can hear Emmatt scream. 

“Eyes!” Kylo roared. 

In an instant, Paige came crouching down beside him, binoculars on her hand. 

“17 degrees south!” Paige roared. Kylo followed. “1 degree south!”

Another body dropped as he gazed on his scope. 

The two gritted their teeth. It was for Cannady, Biggs and Wedge. 

1 degree south, Kylo repeated in his head. In a snap, he held his breath, pulling the trigger of his gun. 

The sound of the gun firing passed their ears. Then there was silence. No more ricochetting bullets; no more whiplash. 

Their enemy were dead. There was only silence. 

“For Kaydel.” Paige whimpered, her body sliding on the sand as her knees shook. She gritted her teeth, cussing at her tear stricken eyes. 

But that was just her. Her lieutenant was still on the side of the truck, gun still pointed forward. He was unmoved; eyes still on his scope searching for enemies that were’t there. 

“Sir?” Paige called him in a soft whisper. But there was no acknowledgment whatsoever. He was just there, still ready to kill. 

Tico ungracefully wiped the tears on her eyes. Standing up slowly, she repeated her words, this time in a stutter. “S-sir.”

No movement still. 

“Sir, please!” Paige hissed nervously, placing her hand on his arm. 

As if being doused by ice cold water, Kylo finally whipped his head to face Paige. 

Tico took a nervous step back, yanking her hand away as if she saw a monster. She shuddered, clasping her hands on her chest. 

There was something in her commanding officer’s jet black eyes — his pupils shrinking that it looked like small dots surrounded by dark brown irises. They were dead and blank. But behind them was an unexplainable rage, one that burned brighter than the scorching sun above the Jakku desert; transcending all known human emotions. 

In Lieutenant Ren’s eyes were a hidden monstrosity — one that managed to get loose to wreck havoc on everything he sets his eyes upon. 

Tico’s face crumpled in fright. The tears she shed for her dead comrades substituted with fear-filled tears from her own commanding officer. 

But it soon came to pass for Kylo blinked fast upon recognizing Paige. In an instant, the rage in his eyes disappeared; his pupils began to dilate, as it glimmered with water — tears that he bit back to suppress. 

“I’m sorry.” He muttered silently. 

“It’s okay, sir.” Paige mumbled, acknowledging his apology for terrifying her. “We need to go, lieutenant.” She whispered further. 

Kylo nodded, finally letting his sniper rifle fall on his chest. 

“I’m sorry.” He muttered once more. This time, his voice croaking in despair. 

“It’s okay, sir.” Paige’s voice faltered, offering forgiveness once more; one that she knew her lieutenant needed. 

It wasn’t his fault, she wanted to say. It wasn’t anybody’s fault. They were at war. 

But no words of consolation came out of her mouth. Instead, she turned her back towards Kylo, biting her lip as her mouth quivered. She finally let her tears fall from her eyes again, knowing in that moment, their grief on their departed had finally set in. And the lieutenant was already blaming himself for the deaths of his men. 

— —

The ride to Niima Outpost was eerily silent. Aside from the occasional groans of pain on the bumpy ride back, nobody dared to talk about the battle they momentarily won, neither did they speak of the lives that they lost. 

Kylo huffed in agony, finally breaking the silence. His side had been bleeding relentlessly despite him not moving an inch. 

It alarmed Paige for she crawled towards her CO, instantly opening the pouch on her waist. 

“I’m fine.” Kylo huffed once more, his voice already raspy at the ongoing blood loss. 

“Shut up, sir.” Paige clicked her tongue. 

The lady serviceman took her knife to cut Kylo’s uniform; the hole in his body now exposed. 

“Hey, sir.” Paige muttered, trying to hide a nasty grin. “Have you watched those old war movies.”

Kylo was silent. 

Poe, who was covered with damp cloths, exhaustingly grinned beside Kylo. “I always wondered if that was true.” He hissed, getting what Paige was trying to do. 

“What are you getting at, soldier?” Kylo groaned. 

“You know, the one where they put gunpowder on the wound and set it on fire to close it.” Tico continued. 

Kylo scowled. “I’m not a test subject.” He protested. 

“We need to close that wound stat.” Paige grinned, not minding her CO’s protests. “And our medical officer is driving so your last hope is me.” She smiled smugly, pointing her thumbs at her chest. 

“Fuck you.” Kylo moaned helplessly, but he grinned too and watched Paige as she took several bullets, removing its metallic shell with her knife. 

“Well fuck me for trying to save your life.” Paige smiled, but gasped, clearing her throat as she realized the underlying double meaning of her words. 

Poe snorted as he watched Kylo tilt his head on the side like a lost puppy; his curiosity at its highest on why Paige was suddenly clearing her throat, whilst her ears turning bright red. But he never said anything, he just stared. 

He does not get it, Poe thought. It was blatant flirting but his CO does not get it. The lieutenant is good at killing people, but not so much on knowing women. Poor dude. 

“Ready?” Paige smirked, clearing her throat once more to focus. 

“Why are you even asking Tico?” Poe retorted already throwing to Paige the metallic zippo lighter with his uninjured hand. “The lieutenant was born ready.” He hissed in excitement, answering for Kylo. 

“I’ll have you two demoted when we get back.” Kylo rolled his eyes, but readied himself anyway as Paige started to pour gunpowder on his wound. 

He exhaled on his lips soon after. “Okay, on my command,” Kylo hissed, his voice actually sounding nervous. “In three, two —“

“God fucking damn it, Tico!” Kylo roared, squirming and kicking as Paige suddenly lit his body on fire. 

There was a crackling noise and an awful smell as his flesh burned along with the gunpowder. 

Poe’s jaw dropped in amazement. Tico on the other hand, covered her face with her hands. Kylo fell on his side, huffing and puffing as sweat filled his face. He grit his teeth as the burning sensation crawled through his side. 

“Fuck!” Kylo roared, arms around his torso. He wiggled like a big worm, one of his foot instantly reaching Paige, where he kicked her lightly, more like nudging her with his foot, making the lady soldier laugh out loud. 

The wound had indeed closed. 

“Oh fuck, it’s true, alright!” Poe chuckled; his exhales loud that it seemed like he was coughing. 

“Oh God, it hurts!” Kylo laid on his back. “It fucking hurts.” He too, was chuckling — a genuine laugh rumbling through his stomach that his (now) closed wound started to hurt. 

“Fuck, you guys smell like burnt toast!” Emmatt roared from the from front of the vehicle. “Did you just burn our commanding officer?” He laughed. 

The four found themselves laughing their lungs out. 

It was a bittersweet moment. In that cramped truck, they momentarily laughed away all the fear, the pain and the grief that set in their hearts. 

For a moment, just a moment, they thought that everything will be alright. 

But they were wrong. Even for just a moment, the war would not let them go. As soon as they reached Niima Outpost, everything went to shit. 

It came from the side of the truck, on the front wheel on the driver’s side. 

A hissing sound alerted them, and before Emmatt could turn the truck away from the speeding ammunition, the truck came flying; tilting it to the side like it was made out of flimsy paper. 

Metal crumpled as the truck toppled over. It’s passengers crashing everywhere in its four corners. With Paige nearest to Kylo, the lieutenant tucked her head on his chest, protecting her from the crash that went on forever. Poe grabbed the still unconscious child, doing the same thing. 

When the movement finally stopped, Paige managed to kick the door open, before crawling out; rifle back in her hands. 

The first thing she checked was Emmatt, but whatever hit them, it hit Emmatt first. He was still on the driver’s side, sitting upside down, burnt and dead. 

Paige gritted her teeth, instantly running back towards the back of the truck, already helping Kylo as he pulled Dameron and the child down. 

Not even speaking with each other, Kylo pulled; Paige already running. 

There was no gun fire. No. There were no bullets. Their attackers had brought bigger guns — grenade launchers and shells. 

“Control center.” Kylo hissed as they ran for their lives. 

Niima outpost was not just an abandoned junk yard. It was a makeshift airport before that; a loading dock for smugglers, pirates, all nasty people. 

The control center was meters away. It stood on towering metal columns supporting a fuselage of a discarded aircraft. 

It will provide momentary cover. Kylo will snipe from there, covering Paige as she rummage through the abandoned vehicles and the three can make a run for it. 

He will stay to provide them cover. Let death take him, but not his remaining men and the civilian child with them. 

And so, the two abled bodies soldiers ran as fast as they could. Kylo still dragging Poe and the child on the sand. With evasive steps, their strides criss-crossing, they successfully avoided the launchers that hissed a few feet away from them. 

They reached the control center in minutes, hiding behind in one of its steel frames. Kylo ordered Paige to commandeer a vehicle. But the woman was resistant, so was Dameron. 

“We’re not leaving you.” Paige hissed angrily at her commanding officer, figuring out what he was trying to do. 

“This is not the time to be insubordinate.” Kylo barked. 

“Fuck you, Ren!” Poe roared. “It’s either we all live or we all die here. We are not leaving you!”

“Fucking rascals!” Kylo gritted his teeth. “Fine. Then go get us a vehicle.” He bit his lip, pointing his sniping rifle to the front. 

“Roger that!” Paige grinned. 

In a snap, the heavens seemed to roar; An explosion swept above them, hitting the fuselage of the control center. 

“Everybody down!” Kylo roared as metal cascaded down. The crumpling noise of metallic sheets giving in reverberated in their ears. 

An excruciating pain crept through Kylo’s face — a metal sheet swung on him, slashing the right side of his face right through his chest, just above his rib. 

He fell on his back, covering the rest of his body with his hands as debris and metal came falling from above. He is going to be crushed by all the metal, but a steel beam fell vertically inches away from his face; the metal rod roaring beside him as it tilted to the side before getting caught by other pieces of metal, that it collected the debris from above. 

Maybe it was luck or whatever, but the lieutenant was still alive. Trapped underneath all the metal, but still alive. 

He rolled on his stomach, crawling underneath the small space between life and death. “Dameron! Tico!” He roared. 

“We’re okay! Just trapped—” Kylo could hear Poe’s muffled shout from where he was. “The child and I are okay — Tico! Where’s Paige?” Poe panicked. 

“I’m fine.” Paige roared, her voice sounding exhausted. 

Her voice was clearer. She was nearer to Kylo than Kylo was with Poe. 

“Tico, where are you?” Kylo muttered, matching Poe’s panicked voice. 

“Just outside, lieutenant.” Paige mumbled back, as she huffed. 

“Don’t just stand there, take cover!” Kylo hissed. 

“I don’t think that’s possible.” She chuckled dryly. 

“What are—?” 

“Hey, lieutenant.” Paige suddenly said, cutting Kylo off. 

“Can you tell my younger sister, Rose — her name is Rose.” She rasped, her voice getting weaker and weaker by the second. “You’ll know right away, we have the same eyes, but she is—“ she cut herself as she began to laugh again. “She’s a little bit fatter.”

“Can you tell her not to cry?” She croaked. 

“What are you saying? Just fucking take —” Kylo pleaded as crawled towards the direction of her voice. But he stopped soon after, eyes widening in terror. 

It took effort for him not to whimper, for in front of him, a thick metal rod pierced from the outside, it’s ends oozing with crimson. 

It wasn’t his blood. 

Kylo was shuddering violently now, and Paige, even through the sheets metal separating them, knows that her CO knows her condition. 

“So yeah, impaled by a metal rod. What a lame cause of death.” She chuckled after hearing Kylo’s labored breathing from behind her. 

Kylo’s lips shook; he scooted, the space underneath him getting larger that he was able to sit. 

The metal folded on Paige’s side, a signal that her CO was resting his back on the other side, just beside her. It made her lips quiver. 

“I’m scared, lieutenant.” She finally confessed, her voice choking in blood and tears. “Will you stay with me?”

“Please.”

Kylo bit his lip so hard that he tasted blood. “Until the end, Paige.” His voice solemn. “Until the end.” His voice faltering that he finally choked, letting go the tears that brimmed in his eyes. 

Blood mixed with tears, but he did not care. 

They fell silent afterwards, with her commanding officer beside him, Paige was ready for death. 

It wasn’t until she hissed that they began talking once again. “Enemy on sight.” She whispered to her CO.

From her side, Paige could see black boots coming straight towards her. With her last effort, she took her hand gun, it’s cocking sound echoing on Kylo’s end. 

“Paige? Paige!” Kylo muttered in panic. In an instant, Kylo turned to face the metal sheet separating them. “Don’t do something reckless, please.” He cried, banging the metal lightly. There was still chance of survival — minimal but a chance. As long as she doesn’t move nor try to pull the metal rod from her body, she will live. 

“I beg of you, please.” He cried. 

“You know, sir.” Paige said, “I really like it when you call me by my first name.” She mumbled. “But I would like you to be quiet now.” 

“Stop— please.” Kylo was bawling his eyes now.

“Shhh. They’re coming.” A whisper of an answer from Paige. 

“Oh fuck.” Kylo could hear a man’s voice from outside. “That’s got to hurt.” He said, mocking her injury. There were steps near them, metal debris cracking underneath the man’s feet. 

He was near Paige, Kylo was sure of it; it made Kylo curl his fist in rage. Don’t you dare touch her, he thought. 

Don’t you fucking dare!

“Leave her.” Another one hissed. “She’s not going to make it.” 

“Put a bullet in your head, girl.” The man near Paige uttered. “Spare yourself from the misery because we’re not doing that shit for you.” 

A haughty laugh from Paige. “Fuck you.” She spat. In a quick move, Paige took out her hand gun, shooting the man crouching beside her. 

He dropped dead, and she grinned. “I’ll see you in hell.” She whispered once more before putting a bullet in her head. 

Kylo winced as the metal Paige was resting her back on folded on her lifeless body. With his hand trembling, he touched the steel, whispering another grief stricken apology. 

— —

**Present day**  
**Just Outside the Indoor Gymnasium, Imperial City, Alderaan**

“It’s a fucking conspiracy.” Poe looked up in the sky, releasing another cloud of smoke. “The war, it was nothing more but a big conspiracy. A manmade chaos to an already manmade chaos.” He continued. 

His lieutenant was silent, for he agrees. Soldiers were nothing more but pawns, brainwashed by a fake sense of nationalism. 

They came to fight for freedom, but freedom was nothing more but a concept, one that was predicated on the fact that there was an oppressor and the oppressed. 

At the end of the day, the war effort was nothing more but an economic drive. With the government spending billons of money, the Alderaan economy was on the top. 

For others, like the Star Killer industries, it was nothing more than business. Profits are, indeed, larger if you supply both sides. Never mind trampling down with peoples lives, as long as profits are soaring, why would they care?

It wasn’t like it was just some unfounded conspiracy theory. The two of them both knew it was a fact. 

General Ackbar’s sudden “accident” — a run away truck slamming on his vehicle —proved that something was up. But it wasn’t just their only evidence. Days after they were found in the rubble by Jakkunians, Kylo and Poe were questioned, interrogated, on what they knew. The person who questioned them, was General Willhelm Tarkin, second in command to the Prime Minister himself. They said they did not know anything — that they were ambushed even before their men in the dome could report anything. 

It was somehow believable, but for a time, both of them were silently watched by government officials, until they finally decided that they weren’t some threat. 

Their government was involved, so was Star Killer Industries. That is an uncontested fact by now. 

“I’m being reassigned.” Kylo muttered, changing the topic. “As a protection officer.”

Poe frowned at that, his face already questioning its reason. “As a glorified babysitter with a gun? Bullshit.”

Kylo merely nodded in assent. 

“What the hell? That’s practically a demotion. You’re being demoted after saving a train from blowing up?”

Kylo glanced at him, eyebrows raised. The police reports had his name stricken out as confidential. 

“What? The military and police is a small circle. Word gets around, hero.” Poe teased. 

“It was for my protection from possible retaliation.” Kylo said as he took another stick. 

“Bullshit.” Poe barked. 

“I know.” Kylo hissed back. 

“So who’s the unlucky spoiled brat?” Poe chuckled dryly. 

Kylo puffed a smoke. “The CEO of Star Killer Industries, Rey Kenobi.” He puffed his cigarette. 

The person on top of the company; the one who fuelled the war from both sides.  
The woman in red, Kylo wanted to add, but didn’t. Poe didn’t need to know their coincidental encounter. 

Kylo read her file as soon as he was reassigned. She had been boss of Star Killer Industries from the start of the invasion of Jakku. 

A scoff came from Poe. He lit his last stick for the night. “You gonna protect her?” He glanced at Kylo from the side of his eye. 

Kylo stood up, flicking his cigarette. “Remember what we talked about in the recovery room?” He hissed, placing both his hands back to the pocket of his gray hoodie. 

“If ever we get a chance to get near those people who played with soldiers’ lives like they meant nothing...” Poe paused gritting his teeth in anger. 

Kylo nodded, meeting Poe’s gaze with a rage filled glare. 

“We put a bullet in their heads.” Poe roared lowly. 

“We put a bullet in their heads.” Kylo repeated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! This is slightly a long ass chapter. But please take your time to read it. 
> 
> Violence and greusomeness. Not suitable for children. 
> 
> Kylo and Rey interaction on the next chaper. If you like it, please comment or kudos. :) thank you so much!!
> 
> CO = commanding officer
> 
> The chant the soldiers made were lifted from the chant of the American Special Forces. :)


End file.
